poesie..

I remember

2007-07-08T12:40:00.000+08:00

the way you look at me as the way you scan at her now
the way you hug me as the way you warm her now
the way you smile at me as the way you spoil her now

looking at you now, drag me those lovely memories back
the other me wants her replaced by me
just a moment, to feel you again, to lick you..

the moment I remember bitter feeling I have
when you let me walk down to other people arms.

I remember..

listen

2007-01-12T18:16:00.000+08:00

I wish I could tell you the burn inside my heart
The fire that boil my lips
When I look at your shadow under those trees

I wish I could share you my whispers
Calling you day and night for us to dance once again
Arranging the rhythm of our souls
Tight together in one tone.

the secret around us

2007-01-12T18:09:00.000+08:00

It kills me to keep this secret all along
The secret I kept to distance us
To seal our hearts from sparkling once again
To seal desire from burning again and again..

It kills me to keep this zipper tight all along
The freedom that I have lost for decades
To cut these arms to embrace yours
To dry these tears from missing you

It is dream we hold now,
To reach the soul that has gone
When dark is coming,
It kills me to see the hopes has disappeared..

yang lekat

2005-12-12T15:59:00.000+08:00

Ketika jiwa ini mati dalam bungkam kebencian
Dan dera batin ini tak henti dalam keriuk lapar kepongahan
Tak ada lagi sisa cinta, bahkan yang terjepit disana
Sanubari yang kering dan pupus melayang

Menggapai langit tak,
menggumpal satu dalam tanah pun belum

Ketika jiwa ini mati dalam jelaga keputusaan
Gelap dalam riuh pesta darah
Kengerian dan gaduh masa tak pasti
Berhasil reguk dangkalnya persediaan ketenangan dalam kubangan
Tempat kita bersandar pada bumi yang tak henti geraknya

Ketika jiwa ini mati dalam atmosfer yang renta
Dan sesak juang paru-paru rebut deru oksigen yang tersisa

December 2005

gerah

2005-12-07T17:27:00.000+08:00

Sendirian aku bertelanjang kaki

Berdiri pada bukit jelaga berdasar padat sampah neraka

Menggigit nurani pada penat busuk udara

Menggeliat di bawah terik surya

Yang jilati nanahku kering mengaca

Tak ku kenal lagi kosa kata teduh dalam hidup

Apalagi siraman sejuk air basahi kerongkong jiwaku

Semua cuma gulita dan kering

2005-03-14T10:13:00.000+08:00

wajah bunda

aku bertekuk memandang bunda,
kegundahan apa sembunyi merana disana ?
desah nafas kering dahaga
menumpas keluh lelah tanpa suara
meringis perih menggelar asa
raih julangan harga yang kian meninggi letaknya

tetes keringatnya berbaur senyum,
tak lah pedih itu membuatnya berhenti
menapak kaki dalam lautan terik
bersimbah semangat isi perut dan kepala kami

aku bertekuk memandang bunda,
keriput dahinya tak lagi mengganggu
angin menyapu indah berbaur debu
tenggelamkan kantuk perangi hari
agar tak henti kakiku di pinggir trotoar
abaikan buku dan ceramah fajar

senandung bunda berupa surga yang singgah ke dunia,
tak pernah ia henti berganti air mata
meski duka dan lara mendera
senyumnya tak pupus dalam lena
do'anya menggelora tak jera

aku bertekuk memandang bunda,
mimpi indahnya terbitkan jiwa perkasa
baluriku dengan semangat serupa
tantang dunia raih surga.

2005-01-18T13:18:00.000+08:00

Ketika kita bertemu dulu
Tuan tersenyum, memandangku
Wajahmu gemilang malu tersipu
Sehingga terharu rasa hatiku

Tapi kini, mengapa begitu?

Tuan melintas di hadapanku
Tidak menoleh seperti dulu.
Bagailah lupa hal-hal yang lalu .

Ah, jangan saudari
Jangan begitu daku dibuatnya.
Tersenyum jualah seperti dulu.
Supaya terobati pilu hatiku

< I am not so sure I made this .. found in my archive ..
if anyone knows who made this, please let me know.. >

2005-01-18T13:14:00.000+08:00

Aku bermimpi tentang bumi yang lebih indah
Tempat semua orang saling berbagi sayang
Bantu membantu tanpa kekerasan
Bukan saling memanfaatkan

Aku bermimpi tentang hidup tanpa kesenjangan
Yang menerima segala perbedaan
Namun tak menjadikannya alat penindasan

Aku bermimpi tentang arti sebuah kebersamaan
Ketika orang-orang tinggi tak perlu menepis orang-orang rendahan
Ketika sama-sama berjalan pada kemapanan jiwa

Ah..ah..aku Cuma bermimpi

2004-10-01T13:11:00.000+08:00

could the past haunted me gone ?
could my future drag me to same ugly path ?
could I be forgiven for all sins I made ?
could all this pain dissapear instanly ?

could I fly, just like a butterfly
bared naked with smooth weak wing
but still fly gracely
helping all flower blooming

could I just stand like dead statue
with permanent smile on my face
staring at sky
hoping the sparkling dust turn me to be alive ?

2004-09-27T06:09:00.000+08:00

silence morning,
broken sky,
all freak out, but only mute ..
devastated stones around your soul
freely dancing with your dumb heart

why hatred still singing
why longing still alive
when you step on this sacred place
and nothing less left behind..

longing soul, longing heart
why do you keep the secret alives
longing soul, longing heart
where is the cheers that keep you shining ?
is it all stolen ?

2004-09-25T20:16:00.000+08:00

once a crash come to my heart,
that crash burn all believes inside
left all doubts on my way ahead
make me wonder, should I walk thru
or should I just be still..

once a crash come to my heart,
tornado that shreded all phalics
left all desparation and losing soul
make me wonder, should I bear it
or just here, blaming my stupid move

2004-09-12T13:28:00.000+08:00

I want you to stab me right in my heart, darling
instead of these lies all the time
it will be nicer
cos I'll see your face
when you force your hand thru me
and I'll feel only the pain of stabbing
and suddenly I'll lose the oxygen
it will be nicer
cos I'll remember only you, the man I love
I'll only cry for the chance we missed
my only regret the sins we committed
and then I'll let the fairies pluck my soul
and leave you with bloody hands.

I want you to stab me right in my heart, darling
so I can see your face as you plunge your knife into me
see a smile or twisted hatred
see your tears or just a hiss
it will be nice, and the nicest thing
dying will be at last I'll learn the truth
and know at last what I mean to you

edited by Hugh

2004-09-01T11:06:00.000+08:00

The trouble with love

Once, I was thinking that love has never been for me
Then I heard it called my name,
I was still thinking, it wasn’t for me..
Till it shreded me to piece
Crowned me with foolishness
Took my pride off
Convinced me that it wasn’t for me
and never will be for me.

2004-08-22T11:39:00.000+08:00

smiling face,
dancing in my heart
running back
to the hole of emptiness

smiling face,
burning up my monotonous life
swelling my spirit
bringing it alive again

inspired by B.Love
edited by Hugh

2004-08-18T02:42:00.000+08:00

A man,
is the one you can count on his word
is the one you can lie to without shame
is the one you can sing with without discord
is the one where you can fill your womb
full of his seed and smile to keep it

A man,
is the one who lies to you gracefully
is the one who builds your confidence on those fragile foundations
is the one who says you're the prettiest
of all the good-looking girls

A man,
saves his smile
only for you
saves his dignity
only for your children
and sleeps
under your trusting wing..

2004-08-18T02:36:00.000+08:00

aku cuma perempuan telanjang
yang berlari menapaki jiwamu yang mati
berbekal terali kesetiaan
menumpuk pada titah jendela cahaya surga yang dijanjikan
terawangi masa tanpa pelita
ikuti derap yang tak kumengerti arahnya.

Aku cuma perempuan telanjang
Yang meringkik ketika kau suguhkan permata
Dan mengendus-endus kakimu saat luka hatiku bernanah
Merengek siraman madu baluri kerontang gurun musim ini
Hirupkan serutan berbisa pada jantung kehidupanmu
Berlenggok-lenggok bagai penguin
Hadirkan birahi naluri keringmu
Yang tanamkan jutaan dendam
Pada dinding-dinding malam

2004-08-16T11:08:00.000+08:00

I am just a little fox dancing in your yard, darling
how can I know about your happiness?
when you scold me,
I think you are angry with me
but you say you're just scared

I am just a little fox dancing in your yard, darling
how can I know about your life?
when you pull the trigger and shoot me
you say you just want to save your only daughter
and your hand shakes when you find me bleeding
staring empty-eyed at your drained face

I am just little fox dancing in your yard, darling
watching you and feeling so blessed
but you give me no chance
just a bullet to my heart

edited by Hugh

2004-08-16T09:22:00.000+08:00

A little Fox

I am a little fox
running in your yard
trying to play,
but you shoot me dead..

I am a little fox
you havent a chance to know me better
you just pull the trigger
abonded my smile...

I am just a little fox
who wants to know you better
and share a friendly moment
but you have angry eyes..
and mess my blood into the ground...

I am just a little fox,
who dreams of your smile
and of my life feeling better --
friendly like a puppy in other people's yards..

I am just, I am just a little fox..
what did I do to deserve this?
all I want is to dance to your music
to share love and life
and no promises

and well..
now I am just a dead little fox...
please bury me, dont kick me
I don't smell, I won't harm you
I am just a little fox
and I miss my mom

edited by Hugh

2004-08-14T00:58:00.000+08:00

Longing

Don't send me flowers, my love
just send your kiss
cos these lips are burnt
and a red rose alone can't heal them any more

don't send me letters, love
just send your embrace
cos this heart is dried out
and words alone can't moisten it any more

don't send your poems, my love
just send your breath
cos this room is cold
and neither fire nor storm can make it warm

don't send your longing, love
just send yourself
don't send your hollow whisper,
just come and fill me

edited by Hugh

2004-08-12T11:17:00.000+08:00

Aku,
Kelakar pagimu hari ini, sayang
Merenda kenangan pada lembut pandangmu
Tango dalam derap nafasmu
Sirami jiwamu dengan jutaan kuntum
Dari taman-taman hatiku
Yang kerap berdawai bersama angin

Aku,
manik jingga pada matamu, sayang
yang berlenggok bersama harapan senjamu
mengerjap elok dalam tiap degup jantung
iringi tiap gerak juangmu
menatap pelangi yang urung sembunyi
dalam jiwa-jiwa yang tenang
mengalir
bersama denting kicau alam

2004-08-12T10:58:00.000+08:00

Gerimis pertama bulan ini
Jatuh satu satu
Menebar pengap aroma debu
Naik ke dahan menggapai rontang daun kering
Membilas keruh harapan
Menganyam kembali cita yang pernah runtuh
Satukan keping
Terbitkan rona pada kembang-kembang kusut

Gerimis pertama bulan ini
Menutup mata, menggelembungkan warna
Membawaku bertapa pada kerut jiwa yang mati
Bawaku geliat dari tidur monokrom
Abu-abu dan pekat
Bangkitkan teduh yang terbang
Tuai kembali pucuk-pucuk hijau
Pada subuh yang dingin
Pada titik embun
Yang malu-malu tersenyum.

2004-08-07T19:11:00.000+08:00

My Kinky boyfriend

Do you want to know my boyfriend, dear?
He's a kinky guy with kinky hair
but he dumped it and made it straight..
You know why, dear?
Because he hates to be born into a race
where kinky is pride

Do you want to know my boyfriend, dear?
He's a kinky guy with kinky attitude
He loves being weird and trying his luck
coasting around seeking victims
and when he's done he drinks their blood.

Do you want to know my boyfriend, dear?
He's a kinky guy with kinky ways
He seduces you with flowers
then sucks your pride
and when he's done he just leaves.

Ah, my kinky boyfriend?s still alive
anyone want to take him for a ride?
He won?t mind for a coin or two
cos his grace can only dance in his cock
and he will laugh as he reads your mind
and makes his moves in a ritual journey
a heavenly smile as you take him on your knee.

My kinky boyfriend -- ah dear kinky boyfriend
I put your flower in the stinky toilet
happily living in tainted fragrance

edited by Hugh

2004-08-07T08:24:00.000+08:00

Me

I am a diabolical dwarf
dancing with my sword tongue
haunting you with dreadful dreams
sending you nightmare days
stealing your shadow
driving you to eternal sorrow
laughing in your tight-shut eyes
till you stop breathing

edited by Hugh

2004-08-07T08:00:00.000+08:00

You dragging me down so useless
haunted me with your unborn child
playing me as a flute
spread a callous feeling
around my neck

You dragging me down so useless
telling me nite and day
pethatic heart you ever had
building me a sorrow monument
for me to live till I die

You dragging me, dragging me so useless
tear this only heart to piece
and laughing at it with hungry smile
but you forgot one thing, dear
this heart no shadow anymore

and you dragging me, dragging me so useless

2004-08-07T07:50:00.000+08:00

I pull you out shredded
hear your shriek, slowly gone..
loosing shrewness follow your hollow
finding you shrink
on palm of grey leaf

I pull you out shredded
hear your shriek, slowly disappear
as my soul faded on your tenobrous heart
hug your hatred, lick your tear
blame for time that gave us chance

I pull you out shredded
and let me drowned to the bottom
being a ghost to your death
flying singing a touchy song...

2004-08-05T23:01:00.000+08:00

Rotten Nail

I need you..
but I have no voice to call
have no foot to walk
have no hand to reach
have no lips to talk
have no heart to feel

I am lying down with centipede
in dark room alone
where no light, no air
loosing my own soul
just still
like a rotten nail

2004-08-04T19:23:00.000+08:00

I am dancing on the floor, alone

with no music as a friend to rhyme
so static so emphty
blunted with my own breath
freely face the world
settle in the dark of your heart
lurking piece of sanity
searching for my shadow

I am dancing on the floor, alone
sing your dreams
faded in your emphty eyes
cringe to your dead soul
see nothing but your busy hand
smarten your curly hair
since morning till dark come

2004-07-28T13:26:00.000+08:00

tell me who I am, my love
is it a broom in your closet ?
or a casserole in our kitchen ?
or just napkin on table ?
a blanket in your dream ?

oh..tell me who I am, my love
I am dusty with no eye on me

2004-07-28T00:39:00.000+08:00

I saw your tongue dancing in her mouth, darling
but you said,
you forgot, she wasnot me

I saw your eyes wildly snab her breast, darling
but you said,
you didnot know, she wasnot me

I saw your finger playing in her heart, darling
but you said,
I am your only queen

I saw myself drowning, darling
breathless in your cunning

I saw my soul has gone, darling
greedy drinking poison of your love

2004-07-28T00:03:00.000+08:00

I am dead,

but noone bury my body
it's abandoned and rotten alone
be dust and fly
going up with the wind
gone with no hint

noone listen to my linger pain
noone even ever remember
that I ever exist
that I ever breath this world together
rejected pray I heard

all people I love, just walk away
pretend not knowing me anymore
I am dust now..
hop on your shoes
follow your step
day after day and day after day
and after day
ghost in your life

and you
never even notice

~ I am dead, and I am on you shoes, dear..

2004-07-27T23:57:00.000+08:00

I am so damn lonely, my dear..
so damn lonely till can eat your fresh heart
drink your sweet blood
squeze those lung to piece

ah, I am so damn lonely, sweetheart
then hug you so tied
smell all of your scent
kiss you till you stop breathing

I am so damn, damn lonely, darling..
when I found you dead
on other people palm
looking up at sky
so empthy
so cold
pils everywhere...

so damn lonely..

2004-07-24T22:44:00.000+08:00

I am Thorn, dancing in your heart, my love..
tango day and night to feel your breath,
step on your fragile soul
rip them all ..
as I suck to be my porridge

I am thunder in your soft house, my love
I crack the pot, I slap the nose
I puff the pule face
wide my wings..
as I entangled you to halusination

make your suffer as a honey cup
make your stupidity as movie strip
make my fire as your blanket
blind you with my dreamy whisper..

~~

2004-07-13T11:07:00.000+08:00

Being alone, doesnt have to be retarded..
if u have wing, u have to learn how to fly
if u have feet, u have to learn how to walk
if u have heart, u have to learn how to love

Being alone, doesnt have to be alone..
there always be one who you can share,
open ur eyes, open the sky
there you can find, what you most desire..

2004-07-04T01:42:00.000+08:00

My today Pray

If you see me, God
nothing has changed
I am still begging you to take me home

dont get me wrong, God
dont either hate
I need your arm to grab my soul

as you see me, God
I am as weak as those flying dust
my time has past, my heart has dried

I see boys dance, I see girls gigles
but I dont see me in one of those faces

so, please God
I am begging you
take me home, take me rest

I lost my love, I lost my soul
I lost my pride, I lost myself

I am burnt now, with all Your words
surrender at feet, that's all I know

please, take me God
just take my soul
let it fly to eternity chapter

2004-07-04T01:19:00.000+08:00

Morning has broken, Sun has clapped..
me neither waken, neither slept
hanging around wondering mind
get the answer, all people know

where's the star hiding..where's the moon
why everything's burn, everything flare
like my green leaf on the brown stone
all getting cold like dead spirit

where's the light, where's the wind
where's the tea, where's the mint
just silence sound, just static ring
when all I want just a warmer heart

why time has gone, why song has end
see me stiff, alone and suffer
whispering to shore louding to cave
gone down..to the edge of the impossible...

help me bunda, help me God..
take me out..take me high
dont let me down like falling star
just take my soul as fast it can
cos I miss you all and want to go home..

...

2004-07-04T01:12:00.000+08:00

dinner is cold, darling..

semangkuk sup di meja menungguku nikmat, sayang
dan sendu tangismu, buatku lelah

setelah perjalanan panjang penat kita
kuingin berbaur dengan bintang-bintang opera
dan kau, sayangku
tinggal saja di rumah.

tak ada selimut hangat yang kau minta,
kuharap, tutup saja jendela
kukan pulang, entah jam berapa
jangan tunggu..
karena kutau, kau takkan suka bau mulutku
penuh lipstik suka cita

2004-06-20T00:48:00.000+08:00

Nisan tanpa Nama

Ada perih yang mengalir pilu
Jilati nanah peradaban
Berlenggok pada keniscayaan jaman
Menendang-nendang naluri pekat kehidupan
Menginjak jemari keruh garuk nurani
Meleleh-leleh berkecipak dalam sungai kematian
Merona pudar pada gerak malam
Meliuk getarkan gelora hasrat dibawah jendela
Gerogoti lentera yang kian buram
Sinariku,
Sembunyi dibalik ketiak selimutmu
pucat, biru, abu-abu
mati, tanpa pesan.

2004-06-20T00:32:00.000+08:00

Pent up emotion

Bila kunikmati hari-hariku dengan yang lain
Dan tertawa bahagia bukan denganmu
Kupikir, mungkin kau tak pernah peduli
Pun bila ku telah lama menanti
Sedang kau berpura tak ingat janji
Dan bosanku mulai menari
Kupikir, mungkin kau pun tak pernah peduli

Lalu bila kubuat suatu solusi
Dan pecahkan fusi kita
Kan kah pedulimu ada ?

2004-06-17T10:48:00.000+08:00

LETUP

Kau penjarakanku dalam ego posesifmu
Kau paksaku lahirkan ikhlasku sujud bakti pada titahmu
Kau namakan itu kesetiaan, kepantasan

Kau paku kakiku pada belantara hidupmu
Cemoohi pilihan selera jiwaku
Cekokiku dengan fatwa reliji yang putarkan pahammu sendiri
Kau namakan itu kebersamaan

Aku muak bergelut dalam kelakar bahagia yang kau suguhkan
Aku jengah dengan riak cerita mimpi kehidupanmu
Bosanku menggila raungi pilihanku
Kau namakan itu ketidakbersyukuran

Tak tersisa lagi sabarku
Tak tersisa lagi teduhku
Yang tinggal Cuma maki dan gerutu

2004-06-08T03:10:00.000+08:00

Bunda,
Mengapa ayah menciumiku seperti ia menciumi Bunda ?
Dan memelukku seperti ia memeluk Bunda ?
Ia juga himpitiku seperti ia himpiti Bunda..
Nafasnya bertalu menyebar bau busuk
Apakah ayah mabuk, Bunda ?

Bunda,
Tadi malam ia paksaku memijat punggungnya yang terluka
Dan mintaku jilati nanahnya dengan airmata
Tak peduli rontaku sesakkan dada
Muakku seruak tak bersuara
Dalam lolongan tangisku nantikan Bunda yang tak kunjung tiba

Bunda, Bunda dimana ?
Mengapa tiap orang tatapiku pilu
Dan ratapi sosokku biru
tiap kali kubasuh kebaya jingga Bunda
yang ternoda peluh ayah tiap pulang kerja

Bunda, Bunda dimana ?
Sunyi ini mendekap jendela hatiku
Lontarkan tubuhku seringan kapas
Layangkan selendangku berbalur semerbak melati
bidadari-bidadari turun mandikanku dengan air surga
Genggam tanganku beku
Katanya, Bunda menantiku di beranda..
Ah, Bunda....

2004-05-26T16:40:00.000+08:00

Marmut Kecilku

Kadang aku bingung dengan rasa cintaku padamu,
Cinta ini begitu sederhana dan kadang probing
Menyelia-lia gelut arahnya.
Dan ku, pun tak pernah mengukur dengan sepenuh hati
Sebab yang kulihat, hanya bayangku sendiri
Menabuh langgam cinta tak beraturan
Berkelakar dengan suasana hati
Membosankan dan tak enak dinikmati.
Pun, kubiarkan orang kelana menangkap iramanya
Sendiri-sendiri, meronta pada gerak pikirnya
Menjelajah pelosok sanubari
Mengekang rasa, bentengi jiwa
Dan yang kulihat,
Cuma rangkulmu geluti sukmaku.

Kadang ku penat dengan rasa cintaku padamu
Dan biarkannya jadi arang
Meski gaung dalam kalbuku pelan dan konsisten
Jadikanmu Marmut kecil lucuku yang menyentak-nyentak hari
Berlari tak henti mainkan imajinasi
Kalibarasi agung dalam detak irama nurani
Yang tak pernah lagi tebarkan kuasa asmara
Membuatku ragu, akan makna diriku bagi dirimu..

2004-05-24T00:41:00.000+08:00

Jika kematian itu datang, kawan
Ia merambat pelan menapaki jejak yang telah usia
Menelan rebah bayangmu
Menggeliat lamat bagai kabut
Dalam cekat dingin menggenggam derak pekikmu

Jika kematian itu datang, kawan
Jangan tangisi apa yang tak pernah kau lakukan
Atau sesali apa yang tak ada
Sebab dia tlah serahkan kesempatannya padamu
Dan kau, seharusnya telan itu segera

2004-05-24T00:23:00.000+08:00

Benci sekali aku padamu
Hingga kukenang-kenang saat indah bersamamu
Dan kubayangkan betapa
Kebahagiaan waktu dulu itu begitu sempurna

Benci sekali aku padamu
Hingga tak dapat kubiarkan tiap derap nadiku
Memuji keberadaanmu

Benci sekali aku padamu
Hingga putus asa untuk bercinta lagi

19 juli 1993

2004-05-24T00:21:00.001+08:00

Amukan bimbang gayuti jiwaku
Terombang ambing gelombang gelisah
Entah apa yang dimaui
Entah apa yang dirindui
kembara kelana dalam alur onak kompleksitas nurani

amukan bimbang rasa nuansa pikirku
berlarian tak tentu ikuti pusar waktu
tenggelam dan timbul dan pergi
dalam kalut membiru
bergerak tak pasti

2004-05-23T23:37:00.000+08:00

Unlimited

Akan kusampaikan lewat ranting
Yang bergoyang diterpa angin
Bahwa aku sayang padamu
Dan tak ingin hentikan rasa ini.

Akan kusampaikan lewat pasir pantai
Yang dihantar ombak & angin debur malam
Bahwa cinta ini takluk padamu
Meski jiwa ini telah berakhir.

2004-05-23T23:06:00.000+08:00

Ada yang perih menggigit-gigit nurani ini
Mengendus luka ketidakpercayaan
Mengais rentang sketsa logika
Mengabur dusta yang tak seirama

Ada yang perih menggigit-gigit nurani ini
Mengoyak tabir friksi antara kita
Menoreh mimpi berulang yang ledakkan tangisan
Tak henti-henti

2004-05-19T17:09:00.000+08:00

Ada jejak bisu yang suntuk cerita padaku
Tentang malam-malam sepi yang kita arungi sendiri-sendiri
Terbelah dalam bentang ribuan mil jauhnya
Mengolok-olok cumbu rayu yang habiskan jutaan pulsa
Dari musim ke musim, tak habis-habis tema
Yang harapkan desah nafas kita tetap satu denyut

Ada jejak bisu yang gelak tertawa-tawa
Pelototi bodohnya angan-angan si pencinta
Yang hiasi harinya dengan taburan cita-cita
Kan kelak hadir yusuf-yusuf mungil dalam genggamnya
Atau fatimah-fatimah dalam pot bunga
Tersipu-sipu songsong hari tua bersama

Ada jejak bisu yang suntuk ratapi dua dunia
Yang tak bisa bedakan lagi antara angan dan realita
Dan lenggang santai dalam kejaran duka
Tersenyum-senyum kecil pada dusta
Menggeliat ramah pada jilat-jilat neraka
Lupa pada janji sang abadi

*for T : this poem can be found in book "Telegram Buat Dian"

2004-05-19T17:06:00.000+08:00

Ada
Teriak serentak
Menyentak
Mendobrak jantung
Porak porandakan pikirku

Teriak itu
Setan bagi nuraniku
Bidadari dalam khayalku
Enyah segeralah

2004-05-19T16:20:00.000+08:00

A Poem for My Princess

If ocean can say words
He will shake the wave and let the world knows
You are the most beautiful girl for me
And if the wind can whisper poems
He will tell you out loud with breathless chance
Priceless moment is our moment together

When you awake, I feel bless
When you away, I feel the emptiness

If ocean can say words,
He will share stories I made for you
And bring it to the beach
With lovely treasure, earth ever created

If wind can whisper poems,
He will dance with mighty power
Sing sweet song about you
That I scratch in every breath I ever take..

2004-05-13T17:19:00.000+08:00

Dust in The Wind
:monolog with Elu

Lu,
tau kenapa lidah ini kelu dan bisu ?
karena begitu banyak yang tak sanggup terkatakan
semua baur jadi satu
saling tindih, saling rebut cari perhatian

Lu,
tau kenapa mata ini basah ?
karena hatiku kering terpanggang tanya
yang tak pernah ada jawabnya
saling tindih, saling rebut cari perhatian

Padahal Lu,
kita cuma dust in the wind
yang gak perlu grusah grusuh
gak perlu marah-marah
apalagi susah
..
terbanglah melayang, Lu..
hinggap di tempat takdirmu
jawablah tanyaku..dan jangan teriak tidakmu..
kita cuma dust in the wind, kok..

2004-05-13T17:14:00.000+08:00

Hadiah Ramadhan 1415 H

Tuhan,
terima kasih tlah hadiahku hadiah paling harum pagi ini,
buah doa atas sabar yang Kau ajarkan padaku
Tuhan,
tak berani ku berjanji,
apakah kan ku jaga utuh sebagaimana pesanMu,
namun kuminta Kau jangan marah padaku,
apalagi jemu membimbing keliruku..
maklumlah, Tuhan..
aku makhluk paling permisif di bumi ini,
dan kutahu, Kau mengerti itu..

Tuhan,
telah Kau berikan aku hadiah paling berkesan hari ini,
hadiah paling manis yang pernah kucicip
namun jangan cemberut padaku,
jika ku ceroboh dan tak mampu membalas
jutaan limpah kasihMu.
terima kasih Tuhan, terima kasih..

jumadil awal - 1415

2004-05-13T17:09:00.000+08:00

anakku,
kelak, kau kan tau,
mengapaku,
berbuat bodoh
dan
tak pernah
meminta maaf padamu
...

2004-05-05T12:07:00.000+08:00

Sas,
Getas sudah gulana ini
Porak poranda dalam kerling genit malam
Cabikkan mekar puting berbunga
Dalam canda gagal fotosintesa
Buraikan gaduh hijau tuju sempurna
Enggan seruput merah kelopaknya

Getas sudah gulana ini
Dalam terik tanpa cahaya
Pucat meringkuk dalam genggam pekik air
Terikat tanya dalam bayang semumu
Yang hadir tiap-tiap hari isi jiwaku
Punah redup dalam ruang tanpa waktu.

2004-05-05T12:04:00.000+08:00

Air of December

I remember air of December
When you flied away
Spread me your glamour scent
Slowly walking side by side
Through the path together
Blend the forest with your smile…
Frosted me over for years

Can’t get away from air of December,
When you embrace me with your sight
Sweet dark staring eyes
Turn me dumb, left silence with symphony
Dancing with tinker bell song
Take me walk on the air
Smell the beauty of fresh morning
Thought I would never land anymore...
Planted with those lonely tress

Still, I remember beauty of your shine
Embrace me warm in your heart
Too exciting cuddling your smile
Stoned in your crowded flowers
Still, guess where it will go...

(memory of Ideth, my small forest, 3 June, 10 years ago...)

2004-05-04T10:03:00.000+08:00

secangkir kopi pahit pagi ini,
kuhirup pelan-pelan..
kutelan-telan..
laksana telanmu ke dasar jiwa
bekapmu 'gar sembunyi tak kembali.

secangkir kopi pahit pagi ini,
harapku bisa lupakan dirimu segera.

:)

2004-05-02T18:23:00.000+08:00

Aku mandul memanggul beban cintamu, gundul
Tengkurap kerut hindari peluk pesing gombal rayumu
Terbirit sembunyi dari syair yang bertalu-talu tak jemu
Ulet tanpa letih datangi mimpiku
Ludahi nuraniku dengan sumpah janji setia tak bergeming
Berkotek-kotek sampahi halaman satu-satunya hatiku
Yang kuikat erat momoki geliat nafsu liar lidahmu
Sihiri riak danau tenangku dengan kilau lebam wangimu
Meringkik-ringkik kecoki darahku kelabu
Paniki detak jantungku biru
..
buat bibir ini geletar,
buat jiwa ini melayang,
buat kusut seluruh raga,
gelegar letusan tersipu,
ledakan batin ini memantik api
batalkan gelinjang dansa
menyusut dalam takut
tangkupan raup Nya jadikan ku sufi kembali…

2004-05-02T07:27:00.000+08:00

....song about you at dawn....

the leaf's whispering song at dawn
song about you to wake me
the leaf's whispering song at dawn
drag me up to dance with your glamour dreams

na..na..hm..na..na..hm..hm..la..la..
you tap..you jump..and tap..and jump..
take me up and down
flow, follow your beat
till sun burns my face
tear my heart in pieces

the leaf's whispering song at dawn
bring me back to u time to time

noted:30 oct 2002 - after u betrayed me.

2004-05-01T14:53:00.000+08:00

Kau, gelombang tanpa buih
Yang bungkus aku dalam keranda tidurmu
Menggelegak dalam bisik nafas busukmu
Mengelopak dalam derai tawamu
Menindih jiwaku dengan tatap tajam matamu
Seretku dalam langkah yang kutuki derapku
Ragu-ragu ludahi bentengku dengan senyummu
Pelukku dalam hangat pita hijau biru
Jadikanku awan kelabu..